As the year comes to an end, I’d like to share my top 10 relationship articles. I hope you’ll find this list helpful too. It always fascinates me to see which articles resonated most with you and which ones flopped.
Every sexual act is a journey in itself. When we stop exploring the wonders of our partners or limit our partners from exploring us, we limit the amount of pleasure we can experience. Embracing your full sexuality takes courage and is inherently scary. These 13 conversations will guide you on that invigorating journey.
We are attracted to those who confirm the beliefs we hold about ourselves. The core of Attachment Theory is the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and our partners determine the quality of the relationship we end up with. If you find yourself in unfulfilling relationship after unfulfilling relationship, then it may be best to do some deep work to change your beliefs.
Side note: Most people attempt to heal relationship wounds or change their beliefs by taking relationship sabbaticals. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from relationships, but you cannot change the dynamics of relationships out of the context of a relationship.
Amazing lovemaking lies at the intersection of personal growth for both partners. It requires each partner to fail at new ways of lovemaking and fucking, and to tackle sexual shame that inhibits our erotic nature. Amazing sex challenges you to grow with your partner to reach your full sexual potential. These seven conversations are a great place to start.
This is still my favorite article to date, because it highlights the fact that relationship problems are natural and normal. No matter who you choose to love, you will also be choosing a set of problems to deal with for the next 10, 20, or 30 years.
If you want to become more emotionally available to your partner, this is a great article.
One of the crazy findings in attachment theory is that “needy” lovers actually ignore secure potential partners, because they do not feel anxious or uncertain about them. If you are a needy lover, you are more likely to confuse the anxiety and ambiguity of a relationship with an avoidant as love. Check out the article to learn more.
Every relationship is a story, and that story is constantly changing based on present events. The research on relationships has shown that couples who have a positive Story of Us have a better friendship, deal with conflict better, and tend to have a better bedroom life. If you have a negative story of us, doing work to change your perspective will drastically turn things for both partners.
Tolstoy once said that “all happy [couples] are alike; every unhappy [couple] is unhappy in its own way.” Ironically, the research points in the other direction. All unhealthy relationships are unhappy in the same way. This article includes six of them.
We often like to believe good sex is the spur of a moment type of thing. And in the early stages of the relationship, it feels that way. The difference between couples who continue to have a great sex life is they still court each other and eagerly learn about their partner. They also create time and space for intimacy.
“A no-effort relationship is not a great relationship; it’s a doomed relationship. It takes effort to communicate and understand each other. Love takes work. It takes work to expose and resolve conflicting beliefs and expectations.”
Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Key To A Lasting Relationship
Emotional intelligence is important for both men and women, but research done by Dr. John Gottman showed that more often than not, men were less likely to be influenced by their partners. Ironically, this article was a huge hit on the Gottman Blog with 97.000+ views and over 500,000+ views on Business Insider, but it was a dud on my site.
I love this article because it reminds me of something vital to a healthy relationship: Happiness in our relationships does not come by finding the right partner. It requires you to become the right partner as well.
That’s the best of 2016. I look forward to seeing where 2017 takes us and our relationships. 🙂