Intentionally Intimate Relationships
Do you like having orgasms? (Hear me out…I promise this is leading to relationship books)
I do. There’s nothing like a full-body-shaking, breath-taking, heart-pounding orgasm that causes me to wake up the neighbors. But as much as I love sexual orgasms, I love stimulating my brain.… Continue reading Here
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here
Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.
Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here
This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.
Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.
The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here
Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog
Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat?
The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.
Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages.… Continue reading Here
Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here
Dependency in a relationship can feel suffocating.
Sometimes we lose our sense of self in our partner. We can feel a love so deep, it can be as if we’ve become one with our partner and the universe. It’s a unique, fairy-tale experience, and it’s what psychologists call a collapse of the ego state.… Continue reading Here
Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds.
This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:
“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.… Continue reading Here
There is a misconception that conflict in relationships is the root of all relationship demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.
Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”
Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”… Continue reading Here
When Jake looks at the latest bank statement and begins complaining about how James, yet again, spent more than $200 on clothes without discussing it with him, it’s pretty clear what the issue is.
But when Kristi begins cursing out Steve because he is running late to their couples therapy appointment due to work, the harsh comments cover up the hidden issues of Kristi feeling less important to Steve than his work.… Continue reading Here