Anxiety

The War of Independence In Relationships

Independence

Independence

The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship. Often, there’s a war of independence going on in relationships that is fought for no good reason.

Meet Kim and Kevin.

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A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love

Dependency

Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in.

Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believe we are capable of.… Continue reading Here

Attachment Theory Explains Why Your Relationships Fail

Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory

The beliefs you adopt in pursuing your relationships determines the type of relationships you end up with.

Why?

We are attracted to those who confirm the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Here are some examples:

Meet Miguel. Miguel plays games, hides his true intentions, and manipulates women to stay in a relationship with him.… Continue reading Here

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?

“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Watch me.”

What happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive?

The child is bound to be distressed.… Continue reading Here

Make Your Toxic Relationship Healthy

Healthy Relationship

toxic-relationship

This article was originally published on August 30, 2016, and has been updated.

Having a toxic relationship isn’t as uncommon as you think.

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. Some of us need more connection, others need independence.

What if I told you there were only two roads to making a toxic relationship healthier?… Continue reading Here

6 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

6 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

If your “intimacy button” differs from your partner’s, you enter a perfect storm preventing both parties from getting what you want.

It’s like starting a weight loss program with Big Macs and supersized french fries on the menu.

Good luck with that!Continue reading Here

4 Marriage Myths That Ruin Marriages Without Partners Realizing It

Marriage

MarriageMarriage

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. 

As soon as the engagement ring is slipped on, we are inundated with messages about how our relationship should be. Our friends and family tell us what we should tolerate and what we shouldn’t.… Continue reading Here

The Top 3 Vulnerabilities That Ruin Your Relationship

Vulnerability

Vulnerability

All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle. Instead of holding hands, they point fingers.… Continue reading Here