Mindset

Mindset contains articles relating to psychology, unwarranted thoughts, and ways to be happy.

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Relationship Conflict

Good relationships are built on the belief of what’s good for you is good for me too. Partners realize that the best bet is to work together, rather than against each other.

Meet Jordan and Taylor, a couple in their mid-forties.… Continue reading Here

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

Human Brain

Stan Tatkin, PsyD proposes that the human brain is built for survival first and love second. This means we are wired for war more so than we are wired for love.

Reactive Conversation Mature Dialogue
Chris: I get pissed off because you’re never listening to me.
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A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

Improvement

Interview Guest: Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., is a co-founder of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, which integrates attachment theory and differentiation. Through her work at The Couples Institute, she has specialized in helping couples transform their relationships since 1984.

The idealized relationship where partners are fused at the hip is not a healthy relationship, as it doesn’t allow for the unique differences of each partner.… Continue reading Here

How You Think About Your Spouse Determines How You Love Them

How You Think About Your Spouse Determines How You Love Them

Spouse

All of us have an inner narrator that describes the scene and characters of our lives. If your inner narrator writes a script of your partner and marriage in a negative tone, it’s easy to make assumptions that create negative interactions.… Continue reading Here

The Magic Ratio of Happy and Healthy Relationships

Happy

Happy

Whether it’s about not having enough sex, the dirty laundry, or spending too much money, conflict is inevitable in every marriage.

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s.… Continue reading Here

The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Trap: An Interview with Amir Levine Part II

The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Trap: An Interview with Amir Levine Part II

Anxiety

Interview Guest: Amir Levine, M.D., is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and co-author of a popular book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, which has been translated into 14 languages. You can read Part I of the interview with Dr.… Continue reading Here

5 Habits of Emotionally Wealthy Marriages

Marriage

Marriage

It turns out the number one thing couples fight about is nothing.

This not-so-earth-shattering discovery was made in Dr. Gottman’s Love Lab after spending more than 40 years studying over 3,000 couples. These couples were not arguing about specific topics like sex, money, or in-laws.… Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

Stopping the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

Stopping the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

Withdraw

The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships. As Dr. Gottman explains in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, “This classical marital impasse is all too common—a wife seeking emotional connection from a withdrawn husband.”… Continue reading Here