Mindset

Mindset contains articles relating to psychology, unwarranted thoughts, and ways to be happy.

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.

The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

Relationship Thermostat

Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog

 

Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat?

The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.

Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In a Relationship We Want

Ruined Relationship

Ruined Relationship

 

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to Becoming an Emotionally Available Partner

Emotionally Available

Emotionally Available

Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds. 

 

This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:

“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.Continue reading Here

The Top 3 Insecurities in Love That Ruin Your Relationship

Vulnerability

insecurities in love

We all have different insecurities in life. But when those vulnerabilities work their way into our relationships, insecurities in love can ruin our partnerships.

All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle.… Continue reading Here

If Love Requires Effort, Is It Meant To Be?

Meaningful Love

With just about everything at our fingertips at any given moment, we’ve grown accustomed to things being easy. But should that apply to our relationships? If love requires effort, is it really meant to be?

Do you remember Cinderella?

That blond princess whose miserable life was instantly transformed by her gorgeous-smooth-move-well-dressed-billionaire prince charming.… Continue reading Here

The War of Independence In Relationships

Independence

Independence

The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship. Often, there’s a war of independence going on in relationships that is fought for no good reason.

Meet Kim and Kevin.

Continue reading Here

A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love

Dependency

Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in.

Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believe we are capable of.… Continue reading Here

Relationship Connection: 3 Choices that Make or Break It

Connection

You have three relationship connection choices that can make your partnership amazing or lonely.

“Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact [and] he will die.” – A General Theory of Love

Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the sun.… Continue reading Here

How to Find a Couples Therapist Who Can Actually Help You

couples-therapist

couples-therapist

Couples Therapy. That can be intimidating.

Practically every week, I receive emails from couples who have spent 16+ months in therapy. So I ask…

  • How has your relationship improved?
  • What skills did you learn to build a stronger friendship or manage conflict in healthy ways?
Continue reading Here