Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security

5 Relationship Books That Will Profoundly Change The Way You Love

Love Books

Do you like having orgasms? (Hear me out…I promise this is leading to relationship books)

I do. There’s nothing like a full-body-shaking, breath-taking, heart-pounding orgasm that causes me to wake up the neighbors. But as much as I love sexual orgasms, I love stimulating my brain.Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship: 4 DIY Remedies

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.

Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.

The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

Relationship Thermostat

Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog

 

Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat?

The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.

Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In a Relationship We Want

Ruined Relationship

Ruined Relationship

 

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

Dependency in Relationships: What to Expect

Dependency in Relationships

Dependency in Relationships

Dependency in a relationship can feel suffocating.

Sometimes we lose our sense of self in our partner.  We can feel a love so deep, it can be as if we’ve become one with our partner and the universe.  It’s a unique, fairy-tale experience, and it’s what psychologists call a collapse of the ego state.… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to Becoming an Emotionally Available Partner

Emotionally Available

Emotionally Available

Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds. 

 

This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:

“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.Continue reading Here

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

conflict in relationships

There is a misconception that conflict in relationships is the root of all relationship demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.

The truth about conflict in relationships

Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”

Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”… Continue reading Here

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

Hidden Issues

When Jake looks at the latest bank statement and begins complaining about how James, yet again, spent more than $200 on clothes without discussing it with him, it’s pretty clear what the issue is.

But when Kristi begins cursing out Steve because he is running late to their couples therapy appointment due to work, the harsh comments cover up the hidden issues of Kristi feeling less important to Steve than his work.… Continue reading Here