When couples do not feel emotionally safe and secure, it’s not uncommon for them to create distance and be mean to each other. Sadly, the more two partners speak harshly to one another, the more negativity dominates their relationship. Leading to feelings of polarization and isolation.… Continue reading Here
The holidays make me feel two ways: merry and stressed out.
As my partner sits across from me, we both glance around the near-empty sushi restaurant attempting to hide our annoyance with each other. We have just ordered our food to go and are waiting.… Continue reading Here
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here
The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships. As Dr. Gottman explains in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, “This classical marital impasse is all too common—a wife seeking emotional connection from a withdrawn husband.”
How do couples fall into a pursue-withdraw pattern, and why are men usually the ones that withdraw?… Continue reading Here