Better Relationships

How to Find a Couples Therapist Who Can Actually Help You

couples-therapist

couples-therapist

Couples Therapy. That can be intimidating.

Practically every week, I receive emails from couples who have spent 16+ months in therapy. So I ask…

  • How has your relationship improved?
  • What skills did you learn to build a stronger friendship or manage conflict in healthy ways?
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Negative Interpretations in Romantic Relationships: When What You Think Happened Is Worse Than What Actually Happened

Negative Interpretations in Romantic Relationships: When What You Think Happened Is Worse Than What Actually Happened

interpretations

One of the most destructive patterns in romantic relationships is negative interpretations. A negative interpretation occurs when a significant other believes that the motives of their partner are more negative than they actually are.1

This toxic behavior is a silent killer of relationships.… Continue reading Here

Attachment Theory Explains Why Your Relationships Fail

Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory

The beliefs you adopt in pursuing your relationships determines the type of relationships you end up with.

Why?

We are attracted to those who confirm the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Here are some examples:

Meet Miguel. Miguel plays games, hides his true intentions, and manipulates women to stay in a relationship with him.… Continue reading Here

9 Secrets of Happy, Healthy, and Emotionally Committed Relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.

This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins.

It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?

What would make it delicious year after year?Continue reading Here

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

divorce-prevention

Love is like a light switch.

When people fall in love, the light turns on. They typically feel excited, captivated, and eager to get to know their partners. They see each other in a positive light.

When couples divorce, the most common reason is that they “grew apart.”… Continue reading Here

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?

“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Watch me.”

What happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive?

The child is bound to be distressed.… Continue reading Here

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

relationship-conflict

After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.

Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here

Make Your Toxic Relationship Healthy

Healthy Relationship

toxic-relationship

This article was originally published on August 30, 2016, and has been updated.

Having a toxic relationship isn’t as uncommon as you think.

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. Some of us need more connection, others need independence.

What if I told you there were only two roads to making a toxic relationship healthier?… Continue reading Here