Vulnerability Archives

5 Steps to the Roach Motel of Relationships & How to Stay Out of It

Kyle Benson February 15, 2022February 15, 2022 Attachment Theory, Authentic Dating Advice, Better Relationships, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Intimacy, Marriage Conflict, Relationship Arguments, Relationship Fights, Relationships, State of the Union, Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security, Vulnerability

Have you ever heard of the Roach Motel?

In Dr. John Gottman’s observational research of heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples,¹ he found that in every interaction couples were either nice, neutral, or nasty toward each other.

It doesn’t take Dr.… Continue reading Here

The 6 Commandments of Vulnerable Communication

Kyle Benson October 13, 2021April 1, 2022 Anxiety, Attachment Theory, Beliefs, Boundaries, Culture, Emotional Connection, Happiness, Identity, Love, Masculinity, Psychology, Rejection, Relationships, Shame, Values, Vulnerability

Our worries can emotionally hijack our brains. They can entirely consume our thoughts in an endless vacuum of fear. As a result, these worries can interfere with communication. Or, more specifically, vulnerable communication, which is incredibly important in romantic relationships

Opening yourself up, exposing who you are and what you need can be scary in our society.… Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship: 4 DIY Remedies

Kyle Benson April 14, 2021May 27, 2021 Better Relationships, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Marriage Conflict, Mindset, Relationship Arguments, Relationship Fights, Responsibility, State of the Union, Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security, Vulnerability

Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Kyle Benson March 21, 2021April 8, 2021 Better Relationships, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Marriage Conflict, Psychology, Relationship Arguments, Relationship Fights, Relationships, Vulnerability

Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.

Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In a Relationship We Want

Kyle Benson January 13, 2021February 17, 2021 Attachment Theory, Beliefs, Better Relationships, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Identity, Love, Marriage Conflict, Mindset, Psychology, Rejection, Relationship Fights, Relationships, Shame, Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security, Vulnerability

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to Becoming an Emotionally Available Partner

Kyle Benson December 2, 2020July 5, 2022 Anxiety, Attachment Theory, Beliefs, Better Relationships, Boundaries, Emotional Connection, Love, Mindset, Psychology, Rejection, Relationship Fights, Relationships, Responsibility, Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security, Values, Vulnerability

Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds.

This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:

“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.… Continue reading Here

The Top 3 Insecurities in Love That Ruin Your Relationship

Kyle Benson October 14, 2020October 20, 2020 Anxiety, Attachment Theory, Better Relationships, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Love, Psychology, Rejection, Relationships, Values, Vulnerability

We all have different insecurities in life. But when those vulnerabilities work their way into our relationships, insecurities in love can ruin our partnerships.

All couples come to experience the raw buttons of their partner. Happy couples understand each other’s imperfections and enduring vulnerabilities, while unhappy couples use these enduring vulnerabilities as fire power in the heat of a battle.… Continue reading Here

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Kyle Benson August 22, 2020August 25, 2020 Attachment Theory, Boundaries, Conflict Conversation, Emotional Connection, Marriage Conflict, Relationship Arguments, Relationship Fights, Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security, Vulnerability

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.… Continue reading Here

The War of Independence In Relationships

Kyle Benson July 15, 2020July 21, 2020 Anxiety, Attachment Theory, Beliefs, Better Relationships, Boundaries, Confidence, Emotional Connection, Intimacy, Love, Mindset, Psychology, Relationships, Vulnerability

The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship. Often, there’s a war of independence going on in relationships that is fought for no good reason.