State of the Union

Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict

Wishing

Wishing

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

In the heat of an argument, it’s far easier to say what we don’t want than what we do. Stan Tatkin, the founder of the psychobiological approach to couple therapy, proposes that people are better built for war than love.… Continue reading Here

There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid

Conflict

Conflict

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Heather’s voice raises as she says, “How can you not see it my way? It’s the truth and you know it. You’re just too stubborn to admit it!”

Jason responds, “That’s not what happened at all.… Continue reading Here

This Pre-Conflict Warm-up Helps Couples Fight Better

This Pre-Conflict Warm-up Helps Couples Fight Better

Conflict

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog

Leo Tolstoy’s book Anna Karenina begins, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Dr. Gottman’s four decades of research tells a different story.

Following thousands of couples (some for multiple decades), Gottman found that the couples who would eventually divorce were more alike than different.… Continue reading Here