Relationship Fights

Conflict Doesn’t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

Conflict Doesn’t Ruin a Relationship, a Lack of Connection Does

Conflict Connection

There is a misconception that conflict is the root of a relationship’s demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.

Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”

Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”

Steph: “You mean the dirty clothes you leave on the floor outside the bathroom?… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

Conflict

Relationship arguments can escalate quickly. When we are attacking each other, friendliness goes out the window. Since we are feeling threatened, conflict can reach a point of verbal or physical abuse.

One of the best ways to prevent your fights from escalating out of control is to take an effective time-out.… Continue reading Here

Understand the Attachment Styles in Your Relationship with Stan Tatkin

Understand the Attachment Styles in Your Relationship with Stan Tatkin

Defensiveness
Stan TatkinInterview Guest: Stan Tatkin, PsyD, is the founder of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) and is the author of Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship.… Continue reading Here

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Relationship Conflict

Good relationships are built on the belief of what’s good for you is good for me too. Partners realize that the best bet is to work together, rather than against each other.

Meet Jordan and Taylor, a couple in their mid-forties.… Continue reading Here

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

Human Brain

Stan Tatkin, PsyD proposes that the human brain is built for survival first and love second. This means we are wired for war more so than we are wired for love.

Reactive Conversation Mature Dialogue
Chris: I get pissed off because you’re never listening to me.
Continue reading Here

How You Think About Your Spouse Determines How You Love Them

How You Think About Your Spouse Determines How You Love Them

Spouse

All of us have an inner narrator that describes the scene and characters of our lives. If your inner narrator writes a script of your partner and marriage in a negative tone, it’s easy to make assumptions that create negative interactions.… Continue reading Here

The Magic Ratio of Happy and Healthy Relationships

Happy

Happy

Whether it’s about not having enough sex, the dirty laundry, or spending too much money, conflict is inevitable in every marriage.

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s.… Continue reading Here

Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

Stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?
“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy, daddy, watch me.”

But what happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive? The child will experience distress.… Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here