Relationship Fights

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship: 4 DIY Remedies

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.

Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In a Relationship We Want

Ruined Relationship

Ruined Relationship

 

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to Becoming an Emotionally Available Partner

Emotionally Available

Emotionally Available

Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds. 

 

This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:

“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.Continue reading Here

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

conflict in relationships

There is a misconception that conflict in relationships is the root of all relationship demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.

The truth about conflict in relationships

Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”

Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”… Continue reading Here

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

Hidden Issues

When Jake looks at the latest bank statement and begins complaining about how James, yet again, spent more than $200 on clothes without discussing it with him, it’s pretty clear what the issue is.

But when Kristi begins cursing out Steve because he is running late to their couples therapy appointment due to work, the harsh comments cover up the hidden issues of Kristi feeling less important to Steve than his work.… Continue reading Here

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.… Continue reading Here

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

couples counseling

We are all familiar with couples counseling.

But before we get into that, let me back up a little bit.

Ongoing relationship distress is harmful to each romantic partner’s mental1 and physical well-being,2 and in addition, can negatively impact the kids.… Continue reading Here

The Conflict Escalator: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict

escalating-conflict

escalating-conflict

Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.

It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.

Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?

“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Watch me.”

What happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive?

The child is bound to be distressed.… Continue reading Here