Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.
It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.
Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here
After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.
Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here
Over the next few weeks, Briana Macwilliams an Attachment Therapist and I will be sharing a 4-part video series about adult attachment, love and relationships, based on frequently asked questions we regularly receive.
One question we get is: “How do I express my needs in a relationship?”
Committed relationships are fundamentally difficult because they require the collision of two separate individuals with different life experiences, values, and personalities to love each other. For this very reason, 69% of relationship problems are unsolvable.
How depressing is that?
Surprisingly you don’t have to transform your partner’s personality to have a great relationship.… Continue reading Here
In every interaction, every couple falls into one of three boxes: Nasty, Neutral, or Nice.
While many of us, including couples therapist, believe that a couple’s ability to be nice during conflict conversations determines the happiness of the relationship, Dr. Gottman’s research on thousands of couples highlights that happy couples often have far more neutral conversations that are emotionally dull.… Continue reading Here