Relationship Arguments

5 Steps to the Roach Motel of Relationships & How to Stay Out of It

5 Steps to the Roach Motel of Relationships & How to Stay Out of It

roach motel

Have you ever heard of the Roach Motel?

In Dr. John Gottman’s observational research of heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples,1 he found that in every interaction couples were either nice, neutral, or nasty toward each other.

It doesn’t take Dr.… Continue reading Here

Criticism Kills Relationships: Why this Habit is Poisonous

criticism kills relationships

criticism kills relationships

Is it true that criticism kills relationships?

No one wants to stay in a relationship that makes them feel more judged than admired. Yet, it’s too common for couples to see the other person as the problem, leading to constant criticism.Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship: 4 DIY Remedies

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.

Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

Conflict in Relationships Isn’t the Root of All Evil

conflict in relationships

There is a misconception that conflict in relationships is the root of all relationship demise. Watching a couple fight, it may seem that way.

The truth about conflict in relationships

Steph: “Our house is always a chaotic mess!”

Julian: “It’s not my fault, I don’t have time to do everything.”… Continue reading Here

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

Hidden Issues

When Jake looks at the latest bank statement and begins complaining about how James, yet again, spent more than $200 on clothes without discussing it with him, it’s pretty clear what the issue is.

But when Kristi begins cursing out Steve because he is running late to their couples therapy appointment due to work, the harsh comments cover up the hidden issues of Kristi feeling less important to Steve than his work.… Continue reading Here

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.… Continue reading Here

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

couples counseling

We are all familiar with couples counseling.

But before we get into that, let me back up a little bit.

Ongoing relationship distress is harmful to each romantic partner’s mental1 and physical well-being,2 and in addition, can negatively impact the kids.… Continue reading Here

Negative Interpretations in Romantic Relationships: When What You Think Happened Is Worse Than What Actually Happened

Negative Interpretations in Romantic Relationships: When What You Think Happened Is Worse Than What Actually Happened

interpretations

One of the most destructive patterns in romantic relationships is negative interpretations. A negative interpretation occurs when a significant other believes that the motives of their partner are more negative than they actually are.1

This toxic behavior is a silent killer of relationships.… Continue reading Here