Conflict Conversation

Negative Emotions Offer Opportunities for Connection

Negative Emotions Offer Opportunities for Connection

Connection

When I work with couples, it’s not uncommon for one partner to say, “I can’t handle my partner’s anger,” or “Her crying overwhelms me, I don’t know what to do.”

The other partner expresses, “He never listens to me,” or “She never cares about my life.”… Continue reading Here

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

The Death of Love Isn’t Natural: The 7 Steps to Separation

Separation

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source, it dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness, of witherings, or tarnishings, but never a natural death.”… Continue reading Here

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

6 Steps to an Effective Time-out That Stops Nasty Conflict

Conflict

Relationship arguments can escalate quickly. When we are attacking each other, friendliness goes out the window. Since we are feeling threatened, conflict can reach a point of verbal or physical abuse.

One of the best ways to prevent your fights from escalating out of control is to take an effective time-out.… Continue reading Here

Understand the Attachment Styles in Your Relationship with Stan Tatkin

Understand the Attachment Styles in Your Relationship with Stan Tatkin

Defensiveness
Stan TatkinInterview Guest: Stan Tatkin, PsyD, is the founder of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) and is the author of Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship.… Continue reading Here

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Win Relationship Conflict By Letting Your Partner Win Too

Relationship Conflict

Good relationships are built on the belief of what’s good for you is good for me too. Partners realize that the best bet is to work together, rather than against each other.

Meet Jordan and Taylor, a couple in their mid-forties.… Continue reading Here

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

War or Love: Flaws of The Human Brain in Relationship Conflict

Human Brain

Stan Tatkin, PsyD proposes that the human brain is built for survival first and love second. This means we are wired for war more so than we are wired for love.

Reactive Conversation Mature Dialogue
Chris: I get pissed off because you’re never listening to me.
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A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

A Better Me Makes A Better We: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.

Improvement

Interview Guest: Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., is a co-founder of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, which integrates attachment theory and differentiation. Through her work at The Couples Institute, she has specialized in helping couples transform their relationships since 1984.

The idealized relationship where partners are fused at the hip is not a healthy relationship, as it doesn’t allow for the unique differences of each partner.… Continue reading Here