Marriage Conflict

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

4 Hidden Issues That Prevent Relationships From Being Happy and How to Identify Them

Hidden Issues

When Jake looks at the latest bank statement and begins complaining about how James, yet again, spent more than $200 on clothes without discussing it with him, it’s pretty clear what the issue is.

But when Kristi begins cursing out Steve because he is running late to their couples therapy appointment due to work, the harsh comments cover up the hidden issues of Kristi feeling less important to Steve than his work.… Continue reading Here

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust & Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.… Continue reading Here

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

couples counseling

We are all familiar with couples counseling.

But before we get into that, let me back up a little bit.

Ongoing relationship distress is harmful to each romantic partner’s mental1 and physical well-being,2 and in addition, can negatively impact the kids.… Continue reading Here

The Intentions vs. Impact Debate: When Partner’s Unintentionally Hurt Each Other

intentions

intentions

How do you respond when your partner questions your intentions?

Do you get angry? Defensive?

I do.

One of the big reasons we struggle with relationship conflict is due to the misunderstanding caused by the intention vs. impact battle.

In Dr.… Continue reading Here

The Conflict Escalator: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict

escalating-conflict

escalating-conflict

Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.

It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.

Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

divorce-prevention

Love is like a light switch.

When people fall in love, the light turns on. They typically feel excited, captivated, and eager to get to know their partners. They see each other in a positive light.

When couples divorce, the most common reason is that they “grew apart.”… Continue reading Here

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

How Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?

“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Watch me.”

What happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive?

The child is bound to be distressed.… Continue reading Here

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

relationship-conflict

After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.

Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here