Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.
It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.
Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here
After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.
Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here
Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I stay in this relationship or do I go?”
Briana MacWilliam and I discuss the difficult decision of whether to divorce, ending a long-term relationship, or whether to invest fully in the relationship with the hope that things will get better.… Continue reading Here
Committed relationships are fundamentally difficult because they require the collision of two separate individuals with different life experiences, values, and personalities to love each other. For this very reason, 69% of relationship problems are unsolvable.
How depressing is that?
Surprisingly you don’t have to transform your partner’s personality to have a great relationship.… Continue reading Here
Turn on your TV or scroll through your social media accounts and you’ll see how much attention romantic relationships receive. You’ll see blog posts, YouTube videos, and podcasts illuminating the virtues and dramas of love.… Continue reading Here
In every interaction, every couple falls into one of three boxes: Nasty, Neutral, or Nice.
While many of us, including couples therapist, believe that a couple’s ability to be nice during conflict conversations determines the happiness of the relationship, Dr. Gottman’s research on thousands of couples highlights that happy couples often have far more neutral conversations that are emotionally dull.… Continue reading Here
At the start of their journey, they found themselves head-over-heels in love. Spending time together felt natural and effortless. Their relationship was the equivalent of driving a exhilarating convertible along the California coast.… Continue reading Here