Intentionally Intimate Relationships
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This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.
Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.
The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?
“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy! Daddy! Watch me.”
What happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive?
The child is bound to be distressed.… Continue reading Here
This month Briana MacWilliam and I are sharing a 4-part video series to provide a rich and valuable educational experience in the realms of love and relationships, based on the FAQs from our respective audiences.
In our first video, we discussed the question: “How do I communicate my needs in a relationship?”… Continue reading Here
Committed relationships are fundamentally difficult because they require the collision of two separate individuals with different life experiences, values, and personalities to love each other. For this very reason, 69% of relationship problems are unsolvable.
How depressing is that?
Surprisingly you don’t have to transform your partner’s personality to have a great relationship.… Continue reading Here
Good relationships are built on the belief of what’s good for you is good for me too. Partners realize that the best bet is to work together, rather than against each other.
Meet Jordan and Taylor, a couple in their mid-forties.… Continue reading Here
Stan Tatkin, PsyD proposes that the human brain is built for survival first and love second. This means we are wired for war more so than we are wired for love.
| Reactive Conversation | Mature Dialogue |
|---|---|
| Chris: I get pissed off because you’re never listening to me. |
All of us have an inner narrator that describes the scene and characters of our lives. If your inner narrator writes a script of your partner and marriage in a negative tone, it’s easy to make assumptions that create negative interactions.… Continue reading Here
No one wants to stay in a relationship that makes them feel more judged than admired. Yet, it’s too common for couples to see the other person as the problem.
And since the other partner is the problem, the only solution is for them to change…right?… Continue reading Here
We are supposed to find love by dating around. All across the globe, different pairs of strangers meet every night at restaurants hoping that the person sitting across from them is “The One.”
Many dates will be awkward enough to signal the server over immediately for the check.… Continue reading Here
This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog
Leo Tolstoy’s book Anna Karenina begins, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Dr. Gottman’s four decades of research tells a different story.
Following thousands of couples (some for multiple decades), Gottman found that the couples who would eventually divorce were more alike than different.… Continue reading Here