Intentionally Intimate Relationships
The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship. Often, there’s a war of independence going on in relationships that is fought for no good reason.
Anyone who finds themselves in a dysfunctional relationship will either try to make their soulmate “perfect” by changing them, or try to change themselves to be the “perfect” partner.
Here’s the truth:
After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.
Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here
Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.
Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.… Continue reading Here
Have you ever met someone who was so desperate for love that they would do anything to try and keep a relationship working?
Um… Hi.
A few years ago, I was that guy. Needy, desperate, and insecure.
My past relationships have not worked out.… Continue reading Here
This was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.… Continue reading Here
Imagine you’re in an airplane. You’re getting ready to fly to the Caribbean for a romantic getaway when you hear a nervous voice come on over the speaker.
“So we’re about to take off. Just so you know, I’ve never flown a plane before.… Continue reading Here
Have you ever been accused of being emotionally unavailable?
This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:
“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.… Continue reading Here
Our emotions are the roots to the tree of love.
When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves.
We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret.
From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to understand the different needs of each other.… Continue reading Here
In our modern culture, not being in a relationship ends up causing a person to be labeled as “having a problem.”
His parents are worried. They don’t miss a chance to ask him if he’s dating anyone. His friends are trying to help by setting him up on dates with every girl they meet in Starbucks. … Continue reading Here