Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.
It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.
Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here
Love is like a light switch.
When people fall in love, the light turns on. They typically feel excited, captivated, and eager to get to know their partners. They see each other in a positive light.
After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.
Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here
Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. Some of us need more connection, others need independence. What if I told you there were only two roads to making a toxic relationship healthier?
Road One is breaking up and finding a more secure partner.… Continue reading Here
Without extensive research, one might assume that both partners in a romantic relationship would have similar opinions and levels of satisfaction.
This is a myth.
Over 5 million individuals in a committed relationship have confirmed that each romantic partner has their own unique view of the marriage or relationship.… Continue reading Here
In troubled romantic relationships, unexpressed feelings lead to emotional distance and harsh conflict.
How do you deal with your difficult feelings—including resentment, anger, sadness, hurt, shame, and fear—in your relationship? Do you stuff them inside? Do you attack whoever influenced those feelings to arise?… Continue reading Here
If your “intimacy button” differs from your partner’s, you enter a perfect storm preventing both parties from getting what you want.
It’s like starting a weight loss program with Big Macs and supersized french fries on the menu.
Good luck with that!… Continue reading Here
Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I stay in this relationship or do I go?”
Briana MacWilliam and I discuss the difficult decision of whether to divorce, ending a long-term relationship, or whether to invest fully in the relationship with the hope that things will get better.… Continue reading Here