The holidays make me feel two ways: merry and stressed out.
As my partner sits across from me, we both glance around the near-empty sushi restaurant attempting to hide our annoyance with each other. We have just ordered our food to go and are waiting.… Continue reading Here
Is it true that criticism kills relationships?
No one wants to stay in a relationship that makes them feel more judged than admired. Yet, it’s too common for couples to see the other person as the problem, leading to constant criticism.… Continue reading Here
Our worries can emotionally hijack our brains. They can entirely consume our thoughts in an endless vacuum of fear. As a result, these worries can interfere with communication. Or, more specifically, vulnerable communication, which is incredibly important in romantic relationships
Opening yourself up, exposing who you are and what you need can be scary in our society.… Continue reading Here
Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.
Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here
Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.
The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here
Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog
Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat?
The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.
Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages.… Continue reading Here
Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here
Being emotionally available isn’t as easy as it sounds.
This is one of the most common issues couples face. I get a lot of messages like this:
“Hey Kyle, I read your last few articles about emotionally unavailable partners. It makes a lot of sense that you recommend others to avoid those of us with those flaws.… Continue reading Here