Authentic Dating Advice

Is a Lack of Attention Costing Your Relationship?

attention

attention

The quality and quantity of attention each romantic partner gives their relationship influences the satisfaction both partners feel in the relationship.

“One of the most important things people get is attention. Attention, interest in you…curiosity about… who are you, the stuff that couples neglect in their relationships.”

Continue reading Here

Attachment Theory Explains Why Your Relationships Fail

Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory

The beliefs you adopt in pursuing your relationships determines the type of relationships you end up with.

Why?

We are attracted to those who confirm the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Here are some examples:

Meet Miguel. Miguel plays games, hides his true intentions, and manipulates women to stay in a relationship with him.… Continue reading Here

How to Avoid the Relationship Rollercoaster [Interview]

relationship-rollercoaster

relationship-rollercoaster

I teamed up with Mike Goldstein, the EZ Dating Coach, to talk about the relationship rollercoaster, and more generally, modern dating and how to invest your time and heart into building and nurturing an emotionally connected and committed relationship.

We covered a lot of things that are important to creating and sustaining a healthy and emotionally intimate relationship, such as:

  • What makes an unhealthy relationship
  • Why some people are attracted to emotionally unavailable partners who value their independence over a committed relationship
  • Figuring out your ideal partner/relationship
  • The telltale signs of an emotionally uninvested partner

The Relationship Rollercoaster

One of the most common patterns of an unhealthy relationship is a feeling that you’re on an emotional roller coaster.… Continue reading Here

The Conflict Escalator: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict

escalating-conflict

escalating-conflict

Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.

It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.

Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here

9 Secrets of Happy, Healthy, and Emotionally Committed Relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.

This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins.

It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?

What would make it delicious year after year?Continue reading Here

Rewrite Your Money Scripts in Marriage: 7 Steps to a Wealthy Relationship

wealthy-relationship

wealthy-relationship

Couples fight about money. All. The. Time.

In fact, money is one of the top five most common causes of conflict within relationships.1

But is the fight really about dollars and cents?

Like most conflicts in relationships, money has symbolic meaning to each partner.… Continue reading Here

Make Your Toxic Relationship Healthy

Healthy Relationship

toxic-relationship

This article was originally published on August 30, 2016, and has been updated.

Having a toxic relationship isn’t as uncommon as you think.

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. Some of us need more connection, others need independence.

What if I told you there were only two roads to making a toxic relationship healthier?… Continue reading Here

The Cost of Unexpressed Feelings in Romantic Relationships

unexpressed feelings

In troubled romantic relationships, unexpressed feelings lead to emotional distance and harsh conflict.

How do you deal with your difficult feelings—including resentment, anger, sadness, hurt, shame, and fear—in your relationship? Do you stuff them inside? Do you attack whoever influenced those feelings to arise?… Continue reading Here