Author: Kyle Benson

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgemental style and his capacity to seeing the root problem. Download the Intimacy 5 Challenge to learn where you and your partner can improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.

Is a Lack of Attention Costing Your Relationship?

attention

attention

The quality and quantity of attention each romantic partner gives their relationship influences the satisfaction both partners feel in the relationship.

“One of the most important things people get is attention. Attention, interest in you…curiosity about… who are you, the stuff that couples neglect in their relationships.”

Continue reading Here

Attachment Theory Explains Why Your Relationships Fail

Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory

The beliefs you adopt in pursuing your relationships determines the type of relationships you end up with.

Why?

We are attracted to those who confirm the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Here are some examples:

Meet Miguel. Miguel plays games, hides his true intentions, and manipulates women to stay in a relationship with him.… Continue reading Here

How to Avoid the Relationship Rollercoaster [Interview]

relationship-rollercoaster

relationship-rollercoaster

I teamed up with Mike Goldstein, the EZ Dating Coach, to talk about the relationship rollercoaster, and more generally, modern dating and how to invest your time and heart into building and nurturing an emotionally connected and committed relationship.

We covered a lot of things that are important to creating and sustaining a healthy and emotionally intimate relationship, such as:

  • What makes an unhealthy relationship
  • Why some people are attracted to emotionally unavailable partners who value their independence over a committed relationship
  • Figuring out your ideal partner/relationship
  • The telltale signs of an emotionally uninvested partner

The Relationship Rollercoaster

One of the most common patterns of an unhealthy relationship is a feeling that you’re on an emotional roller coaster.… Continue reading Here

The Conflict Escalator: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict

escalating-conflict

escalating-conflict

Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.

It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.

Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here

9 Secrets of Happy, Healthy, and Emotionally Committed Relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.

This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins.

It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?

What would make it delicious year after year?Continue reading Here

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

divorce-prevention

Love is like a light switch.

When people fall in love, the light turns on. They typically feel excited, captivated, and eager to get to know their partners. They see each other in a positive light.

When couples divorce, the most common reason is that they “grew apart.”… Continue reading Here