Author: Kyle Benson

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgemental style and his capacity to seeing the root problem. Download the Intimacy 5 Challenge to learn where you and your partner can improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.

How to Avoid the Relationship Rollercoaster [Interview]

relationship-rollercoaster

relationship-rollercoaster

I teamed up with Mike Goldstein, the EZ Dating Coach, to talk about the relationship rollercoaster, and more generally, modern dating and how to invest your time and heart into building and nurturing an emotionally connected and committed relationship.

We covered a lot of things that are important to creating and sustaining a healthy and emotionally intimate relationship, such as:

  • What makes an unhealthy relationship
  • Why some people are attracted to emotionally unavailable partners who value their independence over a committed relationship
  • Figuring out your ideal partner/relationship
  • The telltale signs of an emotionally uninvested partner

The Relationship Rollercoaster

One of the most common patterns of an unhealthy relationship is a feeling that you’re on an emotional roller coaster.… Continue reading Here

The Conflict Escalator: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict

escalating-conflict

escalating-conflict

Have you ever taken an escalator? You start at the bottom and without paying attention to what’s actually going on, you move up and up.

It’s the same thing when it comes to escalating conflict.

Escalation within a couple’s conflict happens when each partner communicates in a way that leads to harsher comments, more intense emotions, and the volume going upwards, figuratively and literally.… Continue reading Here

9 Secrets of Happy, Healthy, and Emotionally Committed Relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

emotionally-committed-relationships

Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.

This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins.

It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?

What would make it delicious year after year?Continue reading Here

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

Divorce Prevention: The Light Switch of Love Dilemma

divorce-prevention

Love is like a light switch.

When people fall in love, the light turns on. They typically feel excited, captivated, and eager to get to know their partners. They see each other in a positive light.

When couples divorce, the most common reason is that they “grew apart.” Essentially, the light switched off at some point.… Continue reading Here

Rewrite Your Money Scripts in Marriage: 7 Steps to a Wealthy Relationship

wealthy-relationship

wealthy-relationship

Couples fight about money. All. The. Time.

In fact, money is one of the top five most common causes of conflict within relationships.1

But is the fight really about dollars and cents?

Like most conflicts in relationships, money has symbolic meaning to each partner.… Continue reading Here

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

Relationship Conflict: 9 Signs Yours is Unsolvable and Destructive

relationship-conflict

After observing thousands of different relationship conflicts, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues noticed that every relationship has two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable.

Solvable problems can be resolved with healthy communication, understanding, and commitment to changes. Essentially, once the problem is discussed in a mature way and an adjustment is made, the problem is no longer a problem.… Continue reading Here

How Sex Pressure From Males Kills Female Desire

Desire

How sex pressure kills female desire

Sex in a committed relationship can be bed-shaking, neighbor-waking and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us stop wanting it?

It only takes one partner’s focus on an actual or anticipated sexual dysfunction to disconnect both during the act.… Continue reading Here

Make Your Toxic Relationship Healthy

Healthy Relationship

Make your toxic relationship healthy

Love is a dance of connection and disconnection. Some of us need more connection, others need independence.  What if I told you there were only two roads to making a toxic relationship healthier?

Road One is breaking up and finding a more secure partner.… Continue reading Here

Both Partners Are Never Equally Satisfied in a Romantic Relationship

satisfaction-relation

satisfaction-relationship

Without extensive research, one might assume that both partners in a romantic relationship would have similar opinions and levels of satisfaction.

This is a myth.

Over 5 million individuals in a committed relationship have confirmed that each romantic partner has their own unique view of the marriage or relationship.… Continue reading Here