Author: Kyle Benson

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgemental style and his capacity to seeing the root problem. Download the Intimacy 5 Challenge to learn where you and your partner can improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.

Ways to Cultivate a Strong Romantic Relationship

romantic relationship

romantic relationship

It’s a misconception that a romantic relationship is healthy and happy because there is a lack of negative or nasty conflict. 

Even if partners aren’t having conflict or partaking in other unhealthy relational habits, they will grow apart simply because they aren’t dedicating the time and effort to remain emotionally connected. Continue reading Here

3 Must Do’s For Amazing Sex in a Relationship

Amazing Sex

Amazing Sex

Amazing sex lies at the intersection of romance and passion.

Romance: an emotional state that happens when two people nurture and encourage acts and thoughts that cherish each other.

Passion: an emotional state that arises when a strong interest of desire, curiosity, and attraction.Continue reading Here

5 Relationship Books That Will Profoundly Change The Way You Love

Love Books

Do you like having orgasms? (Hear me out…I promise this is leading to relationship books)

I do. There’s nothing like a full-body-shaking, breath-taking, heart-pounding orgasm that causes me to wake up the neighbors. But as much as I love sexual orgasms, I love stimulating my brain.Continue reading Here

Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship: 4 DIY Remedies

Defensive

Defensive
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.… Continue reading Here

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

5 Steps to Fighting Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship.

Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in his book After the Honeymoon: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.”… Continue reading Here

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

Conflict in Relationships: 3 Steps to Help Your Partner See Your Side

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog.

Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood.

The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs.… Continue reading Here

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

The Relationship Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later

Relationship Thermostat

Originally Published on the Gottman Institute Blog

 

Have you ever thought about the Relationship Thermostat?

The secret to keeping things comfortable is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.

Longitudinal research on newlywed couples discovered that stable and happy couples are more responsive to slight changes in negativity than ailing marriages.… Continue reading Here

2 Hidden Ways We Sabotage Intimacy In a Relationship We Want

Ruined Relationship

Ruined Relationship

 

Do you have a pattern of being attracted to an emotionally unavailable intimate partner who is emotionally protected and difficult to get close with? Or do you have a history of pushing away the sort of person who is available, caring, and easy to get close with?… Continue reading Here

New Year’s Resolutions: A New Opportunity for Intimacy (20+ Questions to Ask Your Lover)

New Year’s Resolutions: A New Opportunity for Intimacy (20+ Questions to Ask Your Lover)

New Year's

What are your upcoming New Year’s Resolutions?

“Part of what makes life meaningful are the goals we strive to achieve.” – Dr.John Gottman, 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work

2020 was the longest year yet. With a global pandemic, an emotionally charged political election in America, and conversations surrounding racial inequalities, it’s been a year for the books.… Continue reading Here

Dependency in Relationships: What to Expect

Dependency in Relationships

Dependency in Relationships

Dependency in a relationship can feel suffocating.

Sometimes we lose our sense of self in our partner.  We can feel a love so deep, it can be as if we’ve become one with our partner and the universe.  It’s a unique, fairy-tale experience, and it’s what psychologists call a collapse of the ego state.… Continue reading Here