The Attachment Style Assessment

The way we attach to our romantic partner influences how we give and experience love in our relationship. The more you’re able to understand your attachment style and how it impacts your relationships, the better you’ll be equipped to find and/or cultivate a secure relationship.

What is Your Attachment Style?
The questionnaire below will help you assess your attachment style. Please pick the statement that best describes you.
How comfortable are you sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with your partner?*
- I am uncomfortable sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with my partner
- I am very comfortable when my partner and I share all of our feelings, thoughts, and interest. Almost like we are merged.
- I am comfortable sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with my partner
How comfortable are you with your partner depending on you and you on them?*
- I take pride in being independent and I am uncomfortable with my partner depending on me
- I am comfortable depending on my partner and having my partner depend on me
- I often feel as thought I am giving and giving and not getting anything back. You can never really depend on anyone.
How much independence and closeness do you prefer in your relationships?*
- I'm equally relaxed when I'm with my partner and when I'm alone
- My independence is more important to me than my relationships
- I'm most relaxed when I'm around other people
How do you feel about affection?*
- I love being affectionate and fear my partner doesn't enjoy it as much
- I find it easy to be affectionate with my partner
- My partners often want to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being
How do you feel about expressing needs and feelings?*
- I prefer not to share my innermost feelings or needs with my partner.
- I have little difficulty expressing my needs and wants to my partner
- When I show my partner how they feel, I'm afraid they will not feel the same about me
How do you feel about arguments with your partner?*
- When I argue with my partner, I typically don't question our entire relationship and am comfortable expressing my opinions even if we disagree
- I prefer to avoid arguments and conflicts with my partner. They never help the relationship.
- I want to solve problems and talk it out. Although sometimes I feel like I am walking on eggshells
How do you feel about pursuing interest with and without your partner?*
- I feel inclined to pursue my partner's interest and put mine on hold for the time being
- I feel loved by my partner even when we pursue our own interest separately
- I enjoy pursuing interest separate from my partner
If your partner acts cold or distant, how do you respond?*
- I'll feel indifferent, maybe even relieved
- I wonder what's happening but I know it's probably not about me
- I worry that I've done something wrong
If you become upset what do you do?*
- I have to talk it out with another person in order to calm myself
- Sometimes I can calm myself and other times I need someone to talk it out
- I need space to calm myself down
How well do you take care of yourself and your partner?*
- I take better care of my partner than I do myself
- I'm low maintenance and prefer a partner who is also low maintenance
- I take care of myself on par with my partner
Name
First Last
Email

By adding you're email, you are consenting to subscribe to KyleBenson.net's relationship blog. We never spam and take our privacy policy seriously.

I am so thankful for this website and the information here! Thank you for what you are doing for marriages and families!!

Dawn

I appreciate what you contribute to the personal development field with your relationship advice and insights. They are actually immensely helpful even though I’m single. Your words are super empowering, I feel like once I meet someone and start a relationship, I’m going to be so well equipped 🙂

Tasha

As always, I enjoyed reading your email and I always learn something new from it.

Maya

Your emails are my favorite read these days.
You are an incredibly thoughtful person and your weekly emails are beautifully composed and bring forth love, connection, empathy mixed with good reminders, advice and a bit of fun.
You strike a lovely balance. I’m glad I stumbled upon your site. I always reflect on what you offer.

Birgitte

I came across your work and am really enjoying it, and am trying to implement its wisdom into my marriage.

Aryeh

Once again Thank you for your post, excellent.

Pr. Joan

I just read your article on “The Story of Us” and can relate! It answered a question I’ve been asking myself all day!

Kendra

I’ve loved everything I’ve read so far. My husband of 32 years and I look forward to growing in my marriage with your insightful advice.

I always appreciate your professional knowledge. Thanks, Kyle!

Nora

“I had a long talk with my husband this week about why our sex life has declined so much. It was a hard talk, but keeping your stuff in mind really helped me keep an objective point of view until we got down to what was going on. We finally got through it. You really made a difference.”

Lisa P., 32, Seattle, WA

Subscribe to the newsletter and get the latest relationship tools and tips!

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Email Address

We take our privacy policy seriously.

Privacy Policy
Terms of Service
Cookie Policy
Contact Kyle Benson

MENU

Start Here
About
- My Story
- Contact
Courses
Articles
Relationship Resources

We use cookies to customize content and advertising and to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with our cookie policy.

The Attachment Style Assessment

What is Your Attachment Style?